想像の森。 表現の駅。 幻想の家。

史上最も残虐な殺人者と呼ばれたウェストリー・アラン・ドッドの日記 4 『(僕は)言った「朝になれば僕は君を殺すよ。」 彼は言った「そんなことしないで。」』 Westley Alan Dodd: Diary 4

This is a continuation of his previous diary (his record at that time).
Some of the misleading or important passages are annotated by me, the translator.

Wes(Westley Allan Dodd)は人々から、こう呼ばれて来ました。



 "I hate myself — those boys —I'd do anything no matter how much it hurt me, to bring them back."
Westley Allan Dodd



Wes (Westley Allan Dodd) has been called.
"Monster," "crazy," "maniac," "chilling," and "the most evil human being ever."
But I have never had a moment when I felt that way about him.
His eyes are so sad, like those of a piglet or calf that is continuously abused in a barn and ends up being slaughtered (executed) in a slaughterhouse.
His eyes are like those of a piglet or calf that has been abused in a barn and ends up being slaughtered. They are eyes that desperately ask us, the world, for help.

Through his novels, I became convinced of what Wes's fundamental " Complain" is.
It is a feeling of "anger (indignation due to sadness)" so intense that it destroys oneself.
Where does it come from?
We must continue to think about it seriously.
Because the most cruel tragedies in the world, as recorded in this article, are happening now and will happen in the future.
Of course, they continue to happen every day in "slaughterhouses" and "animal testing facilities," as I mentioned in my previous article.
That is, "the pain of forced torture of life" has been allowed to continue by the majority of affirmations in this world on a daily basis.
I would like those who read this article seriously to know something.
They are not "euthanasia" at all.
They (children), who continue to be exploited by mankind, are repeatedly abused and tortured, and finally killed.
That is right. For "meat (pleasure)" and "medical treatment (life extension).
I know that "they" and the young children who became victims of the Wes had the exact same cry for help.
They had done nothing wrong, and yet they had to be brutally murdered.
Some are forcibly impregnated (raped), some are decapitated some are beheaded and some are suffocated to death.
And all those who are called "livestock" are "dismembered alive" just so that mankind can taste their delicious flesh and feel pleasure from it. (They are being treated with bloodletting.)
I am convinced that I was a "pleasure killer.
I am in no way qualified to blame, condemn, or accused, sanction Wes.Wes.
Wes is me.
His intense pain, suffering, grief, loneliness, isolation, screaming, anger, all of it, is me.

He wrote in a letter in prison, while awaiting his execution (a hanging he had been hoping for), around (probably) February 1992:

Westley Allan Dodd

I really feel the same way.
No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much I sacrifice myself, I want to redeem myself for all the cruel things I've done (callousness towards them).
And I want to bring them all back.(I want to bring them back to life).

Translator: Kozue

Wes 2024,0625 (3)

 Westley Allan Dodd (July 3, 1961 - January 5, 1993)
ウェストリー・アラン・ドッド(1961年7月3日 - 1993年1月5日)

Saturday, October 28, 1989
4:30 p.m. Nothing on way home. If I don't find one today or at movies tonight, I'll try a park in Portland tomorrow, where I hope hunting will be as it was at David Douglas Park in Incident #1.
午後4時30分 帰り道は何もない。今日や今夜の映画で見つからなければ、明日はポートランドの公園に行ってみようと思う。事件#1(Incident #1)のDavid Douglas Park(デイヴィッド・ダグラス・パーク)のように狩りができることを期待している。  

​4:52 p.m. Will go check out Oaks Pioneer Park in Portland now.
午後4時52分 今からポートランドのOaks Pioneer Park(オークス・パイオニア・パーク)を観て(調べて)来る。
7:20 p.m. Just got home. Will hunt into park tomorrow for a few hours. About 6:20 p.m. on my way back I saw movement around a school (Richmond School) in a very dark neighborhood--not even lights at the school. Turned out to be teens and adults. On way back to the main street I saw three smaller kids. Went back and found three 7- 9-year-olds. I circled and intended to approach, telling them one had to come with me and send the other two in opposite direction so they couldn't see my car. I figured it was dark enough they couldn't get a good description of me. When I circled back they had disappeared, and a 15-minute search was useless.
午後7時20分 今、ちょうど帰宅したところ。明日は数時間、公園で狩りをする予定だ。帰り道、午後6時20分頃、僕はとても暗い近所の学校(リッチモンド校)の周りで動きを見た--学校には明かりさえない。十代の若者と大人だった。大通りに戻る途中、僕は3人の小さな子どもを見た。戻ってみると、7〜9歳の子供が3人いた。僕は一回りして、一人は僕と一緒に来るように言って、他の二人は僕の車が見えないように反対方向に行かせ、近づくつもりだった。僕は、暗すぎて僕について詳しく説明できないと思った。僕が旋回(ぐるりと一周)し戻ると、彼らは消えていて、15分ほど捜索しても無駄だった。

7:29 p.m.to 10:45 p.m. Watched "The Bear" (at theater). Followed one boy to bathroom, intending to say, "Come with me" and take him out of the theater and to my apartment, but he was coming out as I went in. Should have known kids would go quick to get back to movie faster. I'll try again Sunday for two or three movies if I don't get a boy at the park in the morning.
午後7時29分から10時45分まで、映画館で「The Bear(子熊物語)

Sunday, October 29, 1989
10:30 a.m. Left home.
10:45 a.m. Bought film for Polaroid camera.
11:30 a.m. At the school I found yesterday evening saw two 8- 9-year-olds and a 4 -5-year-old a little ways away. Watched a few minutes and decided not to risk it.
11:48 a.m. Arrived at park.
12:15 p.m. No signs of any children.
午前10時30分 家を出る。
午前10時45分 ポラロイドカメラのフィルムを購入。
午前11時30分 昨日の夕方に僕が見つけた学校では、少し離れたところに8〜9歳児2人と4〜5歳児1人を見かけた。数分観て、リスク(危険)を冒さないことにした。
午前11時48分 公園に到着。
午後12時15分 子どもたちの姿はなかった。

12:43 p.m. Back at school. Three 8- 9-year-olds and one 4- or maybe 5-year-old. Circled school (drove around block) and thought an adult showed up with another 3- 4-year-old. Park on opposite side of school from kids--adult turned out to be only about 12-years-old. I stood against a pole. The big kid and his 3- 4-year-old brother left. Two 8- 9-year-olds were playing ball and heading toward the far end of the school. The other 8- 9-year- old was sitting on a post watching them, the backs of the older three toward me and the 4- 5-year-old playing on a mound 20 feet to my left.
午後12時43分 学校に戻る。8-9歳児3人と4-5歳児1人。学校を一周して(車でブロックを一周)、大人がもう一人の3-4歳児を連れて現れたように思った。学校の反対側にある公園で、大人は12歳くらいと判明。僕は柱(pole)にもたれて立っていた。大きな子供と3-4歳の弟が帰った。8-9歳の子供2人がボール遊びをしていて、学校の一番奥に向かった。もう一人の8-9歳児は支柱(post)

I went up to the little boy and asked him if he wanted to "have some fun and make some money." He seemed unsure, but not scared. I said, "Come on--this will be fun," and reached out my hand. He took it and walked to the end of the building with me--we got out of sight of the other kids unseen. I told him as we kept walking, hand-in-hand, "we're going to get in my car."

He said, "I don't want any money." I picked him up and said,"We're still going--let's go ask your dad if you can go with me."
We got to my car. I put him in the driver's side. As we drove away he said, "I live the other way." I said, "We're going to my house and play some games--just do what I tell you and I promise I won't hurt you."

12:50 p.m. A couple blocks from the school I asked and he said his name was Lee, and he was 4-years-old. He started to cry a couple times, but I reached out and held his hand, assuring him he'd be okay, and that we'd have some fun.
午後12時50分 学校から数ブロックのところで尋ねると、彼はリーと名乗り、4歳だと答えた。彼は何度か泣き出したが、僕は手を伸ばして彼の手を握り、彼は大丈夫だと、そして僕たちはきっと楽しいことがあるんだと、保証してあげた。

1:30 p.m. We got to my house at 1:30 p.m. Both the landlady and the other tenant were gone. Perfect. I started to carry him from the car but he said, "I can walk," and I put him down.
1:32 p.m. Put polaroid film into the camera and took his picture as I found him.
午後1時半 午後1時半に家に着くと、大家ももう一人の入居者もいない。完璧だ。車から彼を抱っこして運ぼうとしたら、「僕、歩けるよ。」と言うから、僕は彼を降ろした。 
午後1時32分 カメラにポラロイドフィルムを入れ、僕がふと彼を見つけたときのように彼の写真を撮った。

1:33 p.m. Showed him my nude photo book.
1:36 p.m. Told him twice to take clothes off, speaking in a calm, quiet voice, pulling off one of his shoes the second time.
As I finished taking off his shoes and socks he pulled off his jacket and shirt. I watched as he took off his pants and underwear in the same movement.
午後1時33分 僕のヌード写真集を彼に見せる。
午後1時36分 彼に服を脱ぐように2回伝え(命じ)、落ち着いた静かな声で話し、2回目には彼の靴を片方だけ脱がせた。

1:42 p.m. Immediately had him lay on his back and took photo #2. Untouched.
1:44 p.m. Untouched.
1:48 p.m. After two minutes oral in attempt to gain erection. 
1:52 p.m. For show at 1:52.
午後1時42分 すぐに彼を仰向けに寝かせ、写真
午後1時44分 手を付けられないまま。
午後1時48分 (彼を)勃起させるために2分ほどオーラル(口淫)を試みた後。
午後1時52分 1:52のショー(上映、本番)のため。

1:56 p.m. After three minutes oral, in bed, both naked for foreplay.
2:05-2:25 p.m. Sex. 
Lee's happy and cheerful...I let him put his clothes back on at 2:30 p.m. 
Watched Yogi Bear at 3:00 p.m. 
午後1時56分 3分間のオーラルの後、ベッドで、前戯のためお互い裸になって。
午後2時5分-2時25分 セックス*
リーは喜んで元気いっぱい...(幸せそうに、陽気になる...) 午後2時30分、彼に服を着せ直させる。

*Wesがここで"Sex"と表現している行為は、決して肛門への"強制的性交(挿入行為)"ではない。彼はだれ一人にも"生前の子ども"に対して(ペニスによる)挿入行為を行っていない。したがって、彼が子どもたちとの"Sex"と表現する行為は全て、彼が発明した"crotch fucked、股間ファック(股間で自分のペニスを擦る模擬性交)"と呼ばれる行為である。
*The act that Wes describes as "sex" here is in no way "forced anal intercourse. He did not perform penetration (with his penis) on any of his "living children. Therefore, all the acts he describes as "sex" with his children are what he calls "crotch fucked,(Simulated intercourse rubbing one's own penis between the legs)" an act of his own invention.

4:02 p.m. Lee wanted to open briefcase--back to pictures, put pictures of him in photo book.
4:10 p.m. Decided to spend night with me if I buy him a toy and go out for burger. We did.
5:35 p.m. Returned home--he played with "Robo-cop."
午後4時2分 リーがブリーフケースを開けたいと言ってきた--写真に戻り、彼の写真をフォトブックに入れる。
午後4時10分 彼におもちゃを買ってあげたり、ハンバーガーを食べに行った*りしたら、僕と一晩過ごすと決めた。We did.(やった、成功だ。)
午後5時35分帰宅、彼は "ロボコップ "で遊ぶ。

At this point, Lee cried so hard that Wes "left the store in a hurry, telling the clerk a 'false story' that he was taking care of the child." 

6:38 p.m. Lee's still playing. Will probably wait till morning to kill him. He suspects nothing now, and that way his body will still be fairly fresh for experiments after work (I'll suffocate him in his sleep when I wake up for work [if I sleep]).
午後6時38分 リーはまだ遊んでいる。おそらく殺すのは朝まで待つだろう。彼は今何も疑っていないし、そうすれば彼の身体は仕事の後の実験のためにまだかなりフレッシュ(新鮮)な状態にあるだろう(僕が仕事で目覚めるとき

6:40 p.m. Lee spilled hot coffee on him. I let him wear one of my shirts--it made his chest red.
7:00 p.m. Started crying because his dad and brother miss him. I was able to quickly quiet him.
午後6時40分 リーが熱いコーヒーをこぼした。僕は彼に僕のシャツを着せた
午後7時00分 彼のお父さんとお兄ちゃんが彼を恋しがるからと泣き出した。僕はすぐに彼を宥めることができた。

7:48 p.m. Lee wanted to look at pictures again--he thumbed through album and kept looking up at me.
8:05 p.m. Peeked through crack in door as he was taking a shit.
午後7時48分 リーがまた写真を見たがって--アルバムをめくりながら、彼はずっと僕を見上げている(見上げつづけた)。
午後8時5分 彼がうんこしているとき、ドアの隙間から覗き見した。

9:00 p.m. Wants to "look at my pictures one more time"--He wants to see his nude photos, but doesn't want to do any more.
Little does he know that in about 20 hours I'll take photos of a dead, 4-year-old naked boy.
午後9時 「もう一回だけ僕の写真を観てみたい」--彼は自分のヌード写真は観たいのに、それ以上のことはしたくないようだ(やりたがらない)。

9:35 p.m. Bed. Asleep 9:45--had him nude by 10:00--me also. 
10:45 p.m. Have played with dick a little and felt out his balls--surgery will be very delicate. 
午後9時35分 ベッド。9時45分に
午後10時45分 ディック(ペニス)を少し弄り、彼のballs(睾丸)の感触を確かめたが、手術*は非常にデリケート(繊細)なものになるだろう。

Wes had planned to attempt "surgery" to amputate his genitals. However, he ultimately decided against it because he felt "sorry for Lee's pain.

Am waiting for 11:00 p.m. news and trying to decide best way of killing him--he'll either be choked, strangled, or suffocated. I don't want to leave marks on his neck but it must be quick and quiet.
His body will be hidden in closet behind sleeping bag while I'm at work (want 11:00 p.m. news as this will be first news broadcast since he "disappeared"). 
僕が仕事に行っている間、彼の死体は寝袋の後ろのクローゼットに隠されている(午後11時のニュースを観たい。彼が "消えた "後の最初のニュース放送になるから。)

Okay. News says he disappeared from a store (not where I got him at school).

Monday, October 30, 1989
Didn't sleep at all. Sucked him five or six times,masturbated ten to fifteen times, crotch fucked six or seven times.
2:00 a.m. He woke up--didn't seem to mind being nude. I pulled him up on top of me--his belly to mine, my cock in his crotch. He slept on top of me for half hour as I rubbed his back and butt. Was able to give him good erection as he slept.
午前2時 彼は目を覚ました--裸でいることを気にしていないようだった。僕は彼を僕の上に引き寄せた。彼のお腹と僕のお腹をくっつけ、僕のcock(ペニス)を彼の股間に挿れた。僕が彼の背中とお尻をさすっている間、30分ほど彼は僕の上で眠っていた。彼が眠っている間、彼に良い勃起をさせることができた。

2:45 a.m. He woke up. I made him suck me about five seconds before going back to sleep.
3:15 a.m. Said, "I'm going to kill you in the morning." He said, "No, you're not." I said I wouldn't before he started crying too loud.
午前2時45分 彼は目を覚ました。僕は彼に5秒ほど僕をしゃぶらせて、再び眠りについた。
午前3時15分 (僕は)言った 「朝になれば僕は君を殺すよ。」
彼は言った。「No, you're not.(そんなことしないで。)」

4:20 a.m. Put rod into his dick--he woke and said, "What's in there?" when it was half way in. I put it in again under the covers.
午前4時20分 rod(棒)を彼のディック(ペニス)に挿れる--半分ほど入ったところで彼は目を覚まし "何が入ってるの?"と言った。僕はカバー(布団)の下でもう一度それを挿れた。

4:55 a.m. He woke as I fucked him and I let him watch me put the rod two-thirds into his cock--it hurt just a little, he said.
午前4時55分 僕が彼を(rodで)犯している間に彼は目を覚ましたから、僕が彼のcockにrodを3分の2まで挿れるところを見させる--ちょっと痛い、と彼は言った。

5:30 a.m. Crawled over him, him on his back, me on his left side leaning into him. My body pinned his right arm under pillow and his head--holding his left wrist up by pillow.
午前5時30分 彼の上に這い、彼は仰向けになり、僕は彼の左側から彼にもたれかかった。僕の身体は、彼の右腕を枕の下に(押さえつけて)固定し、彼の頭--彼の左手首を枕で握り(押さえ)つづけて(保持し)動けないように(固定)した。

Thus totally pinned, I choked him with my right hand. He got his legs loose. I had to hold my hand very tight on his neck. I held for about fifteen seconds after he quit struggling. He lay motionless. After about twenty seconds I blew into his mouth once to see if he was revivable. Decided not but he started slow gasps about twenty seconds after that. I choked him for about another minute before he was still again. He started to gasp again and opened his eyes. I grabbed a rope and put around his neck as he lay breathing shallowly but unconscious. I tightened the rope and picked him upright with the rope. His chest was heaving but he wasn't getting air. Keeping rope tight with right hand I picked him up under his butt and carried him to the closet, holding him up by just the rope as I moved clothes aside.

I then held his butt up with left hand as I tied rope to the clothes bar and hung him, at 5:35 a.m., so I wouldn't get tired of a grip and maybe let him breath again. He hung about ten minutes as I took picture #7 and cleaned up the room.
そして、僕は左手でお尻を支えながら、ロープを洋服掛け(the clothes bar)に結び、午前5時35分に彼を吊るした。僕は握り疲れないように、そしておそらく(もしかしたら)、彼に再び呼吸をさせることができるようにした。僕が7枚目(#7)の写真を撮り、部屋を片付けている間、彼は10分ほど吊るされていた。

At 5:45 a.m. I cut the rope and lay him on the bed. I sucked his cock a little and shoved my cock into his mouth to fuck him that way,but I had a bad angle and gave up. I checked for heartbeat and breathing, then put him up on a shelf in the closet behind some blankets and a sleeping bag. I'll do more after work.
午前5時45分 僕はロープを切り、彼をベッドに寝かせた。僕は彼のペニスに少ししゃぶりつき、僕のcockを彼の口に押し込んで、その方法で彼を犯そうとしたが、角度が悪く、諦めた。僕は心拍と呼吸を確認し、それからいくつかの毛布と寝袋の後ろにあるクローゼットの棚に彼を置いた。仕事が終わったら、僕はもっとやるんだ。

4:10 p.m. Got home. Saw paper article about missing boy in today's Oregonian.
4:20 p.m. Caught up this log as I haven't written in it since I watched the 11:00 p.m. news last night.
4:50 p.m. Will now go take a leak and take the naked body of 4-year-old Lee Joseph Iseli out of the closet. I'll log everything as I go now. (The paper article--labeled "The Oregonian,10/30/89," was on page 5 of Section B, like it was no major deal he's missing. Looks like a perfect kidnapping.)
午後4時10分 帰宅。今日のオレゴニアン紙で、行方不明の少年に関する記事を見た。
午後4時20分 昨日の午後11時のニュースを観てから、このログに書き込んでいなかったから、遅れを取り戻した。
午後4時50分 これから小便をして、クローゼットから4歳のリー・ジョセフ・アイスリーのthe naked body(裸の死体)を取り出す。僕はこれから、すべてを記録する。(新聞記事-- "オレゴニアン,10/30/89 "とラベルされ、セクションBの5ページ目に掲載されている。まるで彼が行方不明になったことがたいしたことでないかのように。完璧な誘拐のようだ。)

5:05 p.m. Talked to Ken--now getting Lee out.
Oh yeah--I knew for sure this morning he was dead. I'd heard of muscles relaxing and it's normal to "go potty" after dying--he peed on me twice as I hid his body in the closet, and once more on the shelf in the closet.
午後5時5分 Kenと話す--今、リーを連れ出すところだ。
そうそう--僕は今朝、彼が死んだと確信したんだ。死んだら筋肉が緩んで "おまる(トイレ)に行く "のは普通だと聞いていた。僕が彼の死体をクローゼットに隠したときに彼は僕に2回おしっこしたし、もう1回はクローゼットの棚にもおしっこした。

5:10 p.m. He is rather gross-looking--cold, stiff, and purple. I was going to try butt fucking him, but now not sure I could if I wanted to....
午後5時10分 彼はかなり気持ち悪い顔をしている--冷たく、硬く、そして紫色だ。僕は彼のお尻をファックして(犯して)みようと思ったんだけど、今となってはしたいかどうかわからない......

5:16 p.m. See photos #8 and #9. Will now try to loosen him up a little as well as get his body temperature via his butt.
These photos show the position he's stuck in from being in a small closet area.
At least his dick and balls are limp--I'll see if dead boys get erections with suction to pull in blood. I wish I had time for this while he was still warm. Erection not possible (frozen blood?). I was hoping to keep him a couple days, but I'll have to get rid of him tonight I think.
午後5時16分 写真#8と#9を参照。これから彼を少し緩めて(ほぐして)、お尻から体温を測ることにする。
少なくとも彼のdick(ペニス)とballs(タマ)はぐったりしている--死んだ男の子が血を引き込む吸引力で勃起するかどうか見てみることにしよう。僕は彼がまだ温かいうちに、こんなことをする時間があればよかったのにと思う。勃起不能 (凍結血?) 彼を2,3日(数日)引き留めたいと思って(キープすることを望んで)いたが、今夜中に処分するしかなさそうだ(僕は今夜、彼を追い出さなければならないと思う)。

5:25 p.m. He's too cold for a normal fever thermometer--wish I had an indoor/outdoor thermometer with the bulb I could stick up his ass.
5:30 p.m. See (photo #10) how stiff dead little boys are--this is after I loosened up his legs!
午後5時25分 彼は普通の熱体温計には冷たすぎる--彼のお尻に刺すことができる電球付きの室内/室外温度計があればいいのだが。
午後5時30分 ほら (写真#10) 死んだ男の子たちがどれほど強固(硬直している)か観てくれ--これは僕が彼の脚をほぐした後だ!

5:35 p.m. I'm going to go get some garbage bags now to put his bundled-up body into after I try to get my cock into his little butt. Then I'll figure out a place to dump the "garbage."
I'll wear gloves when handling the bags--no chance of fingerprints if someone discovers contents of the bag. Money allowing, I think I'll use a rubber to penetrate his butt.
午後5時35分 彼の小さなお尻に僕のcock(ペニス)を挿れようとした後、彼の厚着(bundled-up)した死体を入れるために、今からいくつかのゴミ袋を買いに行くつもりだ。

6:00 p.m. Home with rubbers and trash bags. If I can't get good anal penetration, I'll take off rubber and crotch fuck his body. The mouth is now out--teeth are pinched together and it stinks anyway. Spent twenty minutes butt fucking him--got it about three-quarters of the way in. Felt good--I went slow and stopped short of climax three times, ejaculating on fourth climax (near climax).
午後6時 rubberとゴミ袋を持って帰宅。アナルにうまく挿入できなければ、rubberを脱いで彼の死体を股間ファックするつもりだ。mouth(口,キス,口淫,しゃぶらせたり,しゃぶったりする行為)はもうない。歯を食い縛ってるし、とにかく臭い。20分かけて尻を犯し、4分の3ほど挿入した。気持ちよかった--僕はゆっくりと行い、絶頂の手前で 3 回(絶頂に達するのを)止めて、4 回目の絶頂 (絶頂近く) で射精した。

6:50 p.m. Now wearing gloves (after shower) to handle trash bags to put Lee in. Will now go dump his naked body.
8:00 p.m. Home. Dumped 7:35 p.m. on 10-30.
午後6時50分 今、リーを入れるゴミ袋を扱うために手袋をしている(シャワーの後)。これから彼の死体(naked body)を捨てに行って来る。
午後8時00分 帰宅。10月30日午後7時35分に投棄*

He drove to a dock near the Pac Paper plant, and discarded Lee in the brush near Vancouver Lake.

Tuesday, October 31, 1989
5:32 p.m. Just saw a photo on news of person seen talking to Lee at the school. Looks a lot like me. 6 o'clock news added: Blue baseball cap, and "person of interest" may have had a German shepherd with him and was either driving or dropped off by a white pickup truck. FBI is entering info into their files.
I'll be watching news carefully for about a month now, as well as staying out of site.
午後5時32分 ニュースで、学校でリーと話をしていた人物の写真を見た。僕によく似ている。6時のニュースでは、青い野球帽、「参考人」はシェパードを連れていて、白いピックアップトラックを運転していたか、降ろされていたかもしれない、と付け加えた。FBIはファイルに情報を入力している。

6:40 p.m. Burned his socks, shirt, sweater, and pants.
Will keep his underwear as a souvenir. Will throw away his shoes tomorrow at a convenience store.
午後6時40分 彼の靴下、シャツ、セーター、ズボンを燃やした*

He burned the child's clothing in a barrel in his backyard, except for Lee's little Ghostbusters underwear, which he stashed away in his briefcase under the bed.

Wednesday, November 1, 1989
4:40 p.m. Washed his underwear in shower when I took it--they smelled like "P."
午後4時40分 彼の下着をシャワーで洗おうと掴んだとき--それは"P.(おしっこ)"の匂いがしたんだ。

On the morning of November 1, 1989, a pheasant hunter discovered Lee at Vancouver Lake.The investigators were shocked and dismayed to see the little boy dumped alongside some garbage, so ruthlessly discarded. 

Thursday, November 2, 1989
5:00 p.m. News said drawing of man seen was discarded as he was seen leaving without Lee.
7:55 p.m. Cut his shoes into four parts and divided into sacks, and burnt it all, along with newspapers that were missing articles about him.
午後5時00分 ニュースによると、目撃された男の絵は、彼がリーなしで立ち去る姿が目撃された為、破棄されたという。
午後7時55分 彼の靴を4つに切り分け、袋に分けて、彼に関する記事が掲載されていなかった新聞と一緒にすべて燃やした。

Friday, November 3, 1989
6:06 p.m. Channel 6 news at 6 o'clock said police have talked to man drawn by artist and they're throwing the picture away--not a suspect and he knew nothing.

午後6時6分 6時のチャンネル6のニュースによると、警察は画家の描いた男と話し、その絵を捨てている--容疑者ではなく、彼は何も知らなかったのだ。

(The following entry consists of Dodd's planning of "Incident #3," but is incomplete because his plans were abruptly halted when he was arrested after attempting to abduct a young boy from a Camas, Washington theater.)

Incident #3
Plans/ideas began: 11-4-89
Hunt start: end:
事件 #3
計画/構想開始: 11-4-89

Saturday, November 4, 1989
11:10 p.m. For #3. Now know how next one will die. He'll be tied for a photo as #2 was, then, when finished, he'll be tied-- "just one more time for another picture, but with a bag on your head this time." A plastic bag will be put over him and secured about the neck...after I suck him erect. As he suffocates to death (tied down, of course) I'll keep sucking to keep him erect. Thanks to Lee I know I can't make a dead one erect, but will they stay erect if erect at the time of death?
午後11時10分 #3について。今、次の1匹がどのように死ぬか知っている(次の死因がわかった)。#2と同じように写真を撮るために縛られ、その後、完成した(終えた)とき、彼は縛られる-- 「もう1回だけ写真を撮るために、今度は頭に袋をかぶせて」縛られるのである。ビニール袋を被せ、首のあたりを固定する...勃起した彼をしゃぶった後だ。彼が窒息死するように(もちろん縛られて)、僕は彼を勃起させるためにしゃぶり続ける。リーのおかげで、死んだものを勃起させることはできないことがわかったが、死亡時に勃起していれば勃起したままなものなんだろうか?

Friday, November 10, 1989
10:20 p.m. No--Incident 3 will die maybe this way:
He'll be tied down as Lee was in Incident 2, photo 5.
Instead of the bag, I'll tape his mouth shut with duct tape.
Then, when ready, I'll use a clothespin or something to plug his nose. That way I can sit back, take pictures and watch him die, instead of concentrating on my hands or the rope tight around his neck--that would also eliminate the rope burns on his neck...as Lee had in Incident #2.
This is also better than the plastic bag as I can clearly see his face and eyes now...as he dies, as well as get some pictures of a naked and dying boy.
Electrocution also a good means for quick death.
午後10時20分 いや--事件3は、たぶんこうやって死ぬだろう:
そして、準備ができたら、僕は洗濯ばさみか何かで彼の鼻を塞ぐ。そうすれば、僕は手や首に巻いたロープに集中することなく、腰を下ろしてじっくりと写真を撮りながら、彼が死んでいくのを見ることができる--そうすれば、リーの事件#2のように、首にthe rope burns(Friction burn、摩擦熱傷)ができることもない。

Saturday, November 11, 1989
7:30 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. At the movie, "The Bear," (as in Incident #2) to find a lone boy in bathroom. Talked to a 7- 8- year-old, who was not as cute in the lighted bathroom as he looked in the dark. He insisted "No," and I said, "OK--wait here, I'll leave," then, "No, you're coming with me" (changed my mind). I finally decided I couldn't get him out quietly, but at one point almost punched him to knock the wind out of him--but he was too big to carry out pretending my "little boy was sick." I quickly left the theater. There was nothing on the news.
午後7時30分〜10時 映画「小熊物語」(事件#2と同じ)で、トイレに一人の男の子がいるのを発見。7-8歳の少年に話しかけたが、明るいトイレの中では、暗いところで見るほど可愛くはなかった。彼は「No,(いやだ)」と言い張り、僕は「OK--ここで待ってて、僕は帰るから。」と言い、それから「No, 君は僕と一緒に来るんだ」と言った(気が変わったんだ)。僕はついに、彼を静かに外に出すことはできないと判断し、一度は彼の心を打ち砕くために殴りそうになった--でも、彼は僕の "幼い息子が具合が悪い "という振りを遂行する(振りをして連れ出す)には大きすぎたんだ。僕はすぐに劇場を後にした。ニュースには何も出ていなかった。

Sunday, November 12, 1989
5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Drove around town looking for kids.
8:10 p.m. Went to Camas theater to watch, "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids." There was only one boy at the 9:00 p.m. show. About 8- 9-years-old, (too old to get out of this theater easily) and Oriental (two strikes against). But didn't have to use the bathroom anyway. However, there were several 4-7- or 8-year-old boys that left the 7:00 p.m. showing. I'll try the 7:00 p.m.show tomorrow.
午後5時〜7時 子どもたちを探しに街中をドライブ。
午後8時10分 Camasシアターに行き "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (ミクロキッズ)"を観る。午後9時の回には、男の子が一人しかいなかった。8〜9歳くらいで、(この劇場から簡単に出られない歳だ)そして東洋人*(二重の不利な状態)。でも、とにかくトイレを使う必要はなかった。ただし、4〜7歳、あるいは8歳の男の子が何人かいて、7時の上映で途中退席した男の子が何人もいた。明日、午後7時の上映を試してみる。

*Wesは映画"The Mission"で観た先住民族の子どもたちの裸を観ながら自慰を行ったり、彼らと一緒に暮らす妄想をしたりしていた。即ち、『Oriental (two strikes against)東洋人(二重の不利な状態)』とは、"外国人である彼ら"にとって、自分(Wes)が"受け容れられる可能性"の低さを彼自身が意識していたかもしれないんだ。それは単に「人種差別意識」によるものではないと考えられる。
*Wes masturbates while watching naked indigenous children he saw in the movie "The Mission" and fantasizes about living with them.In other words, "Oriental (two strikes against)" means that he may have been aware of his (Wes's) low "chance" of being accepted by "them," the foreigners.It is not believed that this is simply due to "racist consciousness".

Monday, November 13, 1989
4:40 p.m. Have updated log entries. Will now prepare ropes as I had for Incident #2 (tied to bed and hidden under it--to use on victims as soon as wanted or needed--needing only to tie loose rope ends to the victim, other ends already attached to bed, or my "rack" [wood framework built for this purpose]).

4:45 p.m. I now ask Satan to guide me, and provide or help me obtain a boy tonight. This one I'd like to keep a while--keeping him awake all night each night so he'll sleep all day while I'm at work (tied and mouth taped shut to be on safe side). I may only keep him two or three days, or even longer if it works out. I'll give him a haircut and buy a new set of clothes for him, to change his appearance, in case I take him out as I did Lee in #2. I might even get two boys (perhaps a 6- or 7-year-old taking a 3- or 4- year-old to the toilet?). In the case of two like this--the older (or both) would decide (when I tired of them) which was to die. Don't know now if survivor (or just a lone boy) would die, or be used to help get another boy home. Will have to wait and see. I also want to do my medical experiments this time, once done with sexual play on the body(ies). Also hoping for more, better pictures. May also play "spin-the-bottle" or stripping games (especially with two boys).
午後4時45分 僕は今、サタンに、僕を導いて、今夜一人の男の子を手に入れる手助けをしてくれるようお願いする。僕はこれをしばらく飼っておきたい--この男の子は僕が仕事に行っている間、一日中眠っていられるように、毎晩一晩中起こしておいてあげよう(念のため、口をテープで縛って閉じておく)。僕は2〜3日しか飼わないかもしれないし、うまくいけばもっと長く飼うかもしれない。僕は#2のリーのように外に連れ出すことを想定して、髪を切り、新しい服を買って、外見を変えておこうと思う。僕は2人の男の子を手に入れるかもしれない(もしかしたら、6歳か7歳が3歳か4歳をトイレに連れて行くかも?) こういう二人の場合、上の子(あるいは両方)が、(僕が飽きたら)どっちが死ぬか決めるんだ。生き残った子(あるいは一人の子)が死ぬのか、それとも他の子を家に帰すのに使われるのかは、今はわからない。しばらく様子を見なければならない。僕は今回、身体(ies)(死体たち)に性的な遊びを一度行い、この時間、僕の医学的な実験をしたいと思う。また、もっといい写真も期待している。また、"spin-the-bottle(スピン・ザ・ボトル)"やストリップゲームも(特に男の子2人だと)するかもしれない。

5:25 p.m. Now going to Camas--will check out local parks before movie.
午後17時25分 これからCamasに行く--映画を観る前に、地元の公園をチェックしてみる(探してみよう)。

This is where Dodd's diary ended--he was apprehended later that evening after attempting to abduct a young boy from a Camas,Washington theater.
   Gary C. King

​Because he didn't want to hurt the boy or cause him any pain, he said he waited until after the boy was dead before engaging in anal intercourse.
I don't deserve anything better than those kids got. They didn't get a nice, neat, painless, easy death. Why should I?

Once I could cry for Lee, I could hear Billy telling me "I'm sorry."
Why was he telling me that? I hear the boys asking "Why are you doing this?" I can cry for them all now.
Westley Allan Dodd (July 3, 1961 - January 5, 1993)

ビリーが"I'm sorry.(ごめんなさい。)"


ウェストリー・アラン・ドッド(1961年7月3日 - 1993年1月5日)

史上最も残虐な殺人者と呼ばれたウェストリー・アラン・ドッドの日記 3『僕は喜んで僕の魂をサタンに引き渡そう。』 —Westley Alan Dodd: Diary 3—"I will gladly turn my soul over to Satan."




This is a continuation of the previous article (his diary).

〖Comment from the author of this article〗

I read and translated it for the first time today, and I read it with a very quiet feeling, because all of this is something I have been involved in indirectly for a long time.
They continue to take place every day in 〖slaughterhouses〗 and 〖animal testing facilities〗 every day, day after day, with the indifference and affirmation of the majority of people.
I am never horrified by him because I know how serious my sins are.
I even feel that he is no different from me.

Wes 2024

Westley Allan Dodd (July 3, 1961 - January 5, 1993)
ウェストリー・アラン・ドッド(1961年7月3日 - 1993年1月5日)

Friday, September 8, 1989
8:45 a.m. Yesterday's Columbian news article had me worried. It said that by talking to kids that were at the park Monday (day of killing), police had an artist sketch of a man seen at the park by several children.
Then last night three sheriff's deputies pulled up in front of the house where I'm renting a room. I hoped they were here because the landlady called them after a verbal fight in which she evicted other guy living here. I also hoped they didn't realize I was the one in their sketch. They weren't interested in me other than what I'd heard of the argument.
Landlady said later that the person they're looking for is "shorter and darker" than the guy she evicted. Well, I'm short,but not dark.
午前8時45分 昨日のコロンビアのニュースの記事で僕は心配になった。それによると、月曜日(殺人の日)に公園にいた子供たちに話を聞くことで、警察は何人かの子供たちが公園で見た男の似顔絵を手に入れたそうだ。

Tuesday, September 12, 1989 (Eight days after the fact)
11:30 p.m. Just watched the news. Two sketches of "persons of interest" were released by police and shown. Neither sketch resembles me at all. There was nothing for me to worry about.
I'll just have to stay away from the park for awhile. A kid may see and remember me there on Sunday and Monday. I've not looked at a paper since Sunday, but haven't heard on TV or radio if anything was found on the boys' crotches, but I really doubt it.

In case I can't get a news article, the FBI profile says the killer is a man comfortable and/or trained with knives.

(The following documents were discovered by police at the same time the preceding documents were found. Much of it relates to the abduction, rape, and murder of 4-year-old Lee Iseli, and was carefully written after the episode as an instrument to further Dodd's pleasure and to keep his "fantasies" alive.)



Planning Begun: 9/6/89
Occurred: 10/29 & 30/1989
Rough draft: to be burned after re-copied for files--info not important to this incident omitted.
Friday, August 4, 1989
8:45 p.m. Just had a brilliant thought. I must purchase an audio cassette recorder. That way I'll later be able to log exact words and reaction descriptions during a rape, molest,operation, murder, etc. That will do until I can afford the more expensive camcorder with sound. Kidnap victims will not be told anything until I can do it on tape.
発生 10/29 & 30/1989
午後8時45分 今、冴え渡る思いがした。(ふと、閃いた。)僕はオーディオ・カセット・レコーダーを買わなければならない。そうすれば、あとでレイプ、性的虐待、手術、殺人などのときの正確な言葉や反応を記録することができるだろう。僕はもっと高価な音声付きビデオカメラを買うまでこれで我慢する。誘拐の被害者は、僕が録音できるようになるまで、何も言われない(教えてもらえない)だろう。

10:30 p.m.
In surgery with live patients, whether they are conscious or not, they'll have to be tied down. Hands loosely over head to keep them from coming into the way. To prevent bouncing, tied tightly to table around chest and waist, possibly abdomen also. Tie at knees to maintain legs at desired location,
and at ankles to keep feet down. May do surgery with or without pain relief or sedation.
午後10時30分 生きた患者を扱う手術では、意識があろうとなかろうと、縛り付けなければならない。邪魔にならないように、手は頭の上でゆるく。跳ねるのを防ぐため、胸と腰のあたり、場合によっては腹部も含めてテーブルにきつく縛りつける。膝を縛るのは、足を好きな位置に固定するため。

​(Directly beneath that passage is a crudely drawn "torture rack" depicting a securely- bound child, with the words "live kids" in parentheses below it. It is chilling to note that the torture rack had already been constructed and was found inside Dodd's apartment by detectives.)

Other possibilities, just for fun: Shave entire body to make "hairless space aliens." Hang by various body parts. Paint them (blue maybe?). Suck-a-thon (they stop sucking before I do,they die) or two suck each other, first one to stop dies, unless I tell them to stop. They say caviar is fish eggs. I'll try it as kids' balls (maybe). May also try a boy's "weeny" (dick) on a hot dog, instead of a beef or turkey frank! A lone child may be a "sacrifice." Or another child could help in the sacrifice (one kid kill another).
その他の可能性、あくまで参考までに。全身の毛を剃って "毛のない宇宙人 "を作る。体の様々な部位で吊るす。ペンキを塗る(青色かな?) しゃぶり合い(僕より先にしゃぶるのをやめたら死ぬ)、または2人でしゃぶり合い、僕がやめるように言わない限り、先にやめた者が死ぬ。キャビアは魚の卵だそうだ。僕は子供用のボール(睾丸)でやってみる(たぶん)。また、牛肉や七面鳥のフランクフルトではなく、男の子の「ウィーニー(おちんちん)」(ディック)をホットドッグに載せてみるのもいいかも!一人の子供が "生贄 "になるかもしれない。あるいは、別の子供が生贄になるのを手伝うかもしれない(一人の子供が別の子供を殺す)。
I really don't want to cause pain to them, unless it's a punishment for some reason. Therefore, butt fucking is out unless they're dead or unconscious (try sedating with aspirin).
Can obtain unconsciousness by keeping them awake late, then giving several sleeping pills.

Murder Methods:
Fastest: Stabbing
Slicing Throat. Too Messy!!!
Slowest: Starvation/Thirst
Slow: Bleeding to death (blood could be caught in jars)
Medium: Suffocation


(1) Drown;
(2) hang by neck;
(3) plastic bag over face;
(4)strangle (with hands or rope);
(5) pillow tight over face;
(6)hog- tie and tape over nose and mouth;
(7) amputate privates a little at a time until bled dead;
(8) stab;
(9) slice throat (too messy!);
(10) no food and/or water;
(11) drugs (full bottle sleeping pills?);
(12) start experimental surgery on live,conscious, blindfolded, tied-down victims, starting with small,
easy incision for a vasectomy, continuing back along sex line to bladder. If still alive, lay open scrotum, remove testicles,amputate penis and remaining scrotum. Still alive?--cut into groin further, or slice from hole at missing privates, down to anus. If necessary, then stab in heart.

(1) 溺れさせる

(2) 首を吊るす
(3) ビニール袋を顔にかぶせる。
(4) 首を絞める(手やロープで)。
(5) 枕を顔に密着させる。
(6) 鼻と口を縛り、テープを貼る。
(7) 出血が止まるまで陰部を少しづつ切断する。
(8) 刺す。
(9) 喉を切り裂く(乱暴(厄介)すぎる!)
(10) 食事や水を与えない。
(11) 薬物(睡眠薬のフルボトル(一瓶)か?)
(12) 生きた、意識のある、目隠しされた、縛られた犠牲者に対して、実験的な外科手術を始める、まずは小さな手術から。 精管切除のための簡単な切開から始め、性線に沿って膀胱まで戻る。生きていれば、陰嚢を開き、睾丸を取り出し、ペニスと残りの陰嚢を切断する。生きていれば、さらに股間を切り裂くか、陰部の穴から肛門まで切り裂く。必要なら、心臓を刺す。

Murder victims will be asked: "I'm not going to do it, but if you had to die, do you want to choose how, or someone else to choose?" They could choose stabbing, cut throat, strangling or suffocation, or bleeding to death or starvation. Or, they could roll dice, draw cards, or pull from a hat to determine main method (knife, no air, or experiments to help others). Then would roll, draw, or pull to determine how with knife (stab,amputate), air (hang, suffocate, drown, strangle, etc.), or surgeries to be determined with or without drugs, then roll,draw, or pull to determine do it quick, or make ceremony as for a sacrifice. With surgeries they could stay alive, but undergo pain.

​Monday, September 25, 1989
10:00 p.m. I bought a set of X-acto knives and tweezers last night, giving me the necessary tools for my "exploratory surgeries." I've now asked Satan to provide me with "a 6-10 year old boy to make love to,suck and fuck, play with, photograph,kill, and do my exploratory surgery on." On my legs and groin, I wrote, "I now have needed tools for surgery." And I took a nude nap from 4:00-5:30, and dozing until about 6:30 this afternoon.
午後10時 僕は昨夜、X-acto(アート)ナイフとピンセットのセットを購入した。これで僕の「探索的手術」に必要な道具が揃った。僕は今、サタンに「愛し合い、しゃぶりあい、遊び、写真に撮り、殺し、そして僕の探索手術をするための6歳から10歳の少年」を提供してくれるよう頼んでいる。僕の脚と股間には、 "手術に必要な道具が必要になった" と書いた。4時から5時半まで 裸で昼寝して、午後は6時半まで 居眠りをしていた。

I now ask Satan that this boy be an easy target; meaning, due to heat from Incident #1, I can't do much "hunting" for fear of being "noticed" by a "witness."
If the conditions on the previous page are met, and I can remain sexually satisfied, through contact, pictures, or tapes,then I will gladly turn my soul over to Satan.
If necessary, I will meet with him, or an aide of his, to sign a contract. I hope I will not be as frightened at my next "meeting" with him.
必要であれば、僕は彼、もしくは彼の側近と会って契約書にサインする。僕は、次の "出会い(面会) "の時に、これほど怖がらないようにしたいと思う。

Here's my written and non-verbal request, Satan. I will exchange my soul for a long, happy life as a pedophile, with plenty of action, and possible contribution to the child pornography empire; with no danger of reports to, or discovery by, the authorities.
Signed: Westley A. Dodd

8-20-89 11:15 p.m.
8-25-89 10:45 p.m.


8-20-89 23:15 p.m.
8-25-89 午後10時45分

​(The dates in this document conflict with one another. It isn't clear whether Dodd made his written pact with Satan on August 20,1989 and renewed it on August 25, 1989, or whether he wrote the dates in error. Because of his referral to "Incident #1" as having already occurred and because of his September 25, 1989 heading, it seems likely that the August dates were written in error. The date of the next entry, however, September     6,1989,resembling something of a "P.S." to Satan, would seem to support the accuracy of the dates beneath Dodd's signature.)

Wednesday, September 6, 1989
Would like to remind Satan I could use some extra cash to make things easier. Burned approximately $10 gas in set-up and hunt for Incident #1, not to mention cost of discarding murder weapon (replacement cost if to be used again). Must also travel farther now (as if he needed reminding!).

Plans/Ideas Began: 9-6-89
Hunt Start: 10-29-89/10:30 a.m. End: 10-29-89/12:50 p.m.
Incident: 10-29-89/12:50 p.m. to 7:35 p.m.
​Incident #2
Final Copy
Planning to Completion
ハント開始:89年10月29日/午前10時30分 終了:89年10月29日/午後12時50分
事件発生 :89年10月29日/午後12時50分〜午後7時35分。

Wednesday, September 6, 1989
10:00 p.m. For my first incident, knife was best choice as my kill would have to be quick and easy for the chosen location.
Decided that this incident would have a cleaner kill--probably choking, to have a clean body for butt fucking (penetration would be too painful for a live child, and thus too noisy--also don't want to torture--just kill as painlessly as possible after use).
I want a better location for this incident, so I feel more comfortable and can take more time for various types of sex before killing the child. Also will be able to fuck the dead instead of running off. Also considering to see how long a boy can live after dick amputation.
One possibility is kidnapping--at home I'd have all the time I need. One thing for certain is for this incident the sex will take longer, and death will be something different than stabbing.
午後10時 最初の事件では、選んだ場所で素早く簡単に殺す必要があるため、ナイフが最適だった。

Friday, September 8, 1989
10:00 a.m. Decided to hold off until things from Incident #1 cools down somewhat.
午前10時00分 事件その1の事態がいくらか落ち着くまで保留にすることにした。

Sunday, September 17, 1989
11:00 a.m. Thinking of trying the Tri-Cities (Richland,Kennewick, and Pasco, Washington, located in the eastern part of the state) when money and car allows.
午前11時00分 金と車が許せばトライシティーズ(ワシントン州東部に位置するリッチランド、ケネウィック、パスコ)を試すことを考えている。

Monday, September 18, 1989
8:15 p.m. As in article in today's paper, I've considered kidnapping and keeping a child secretly for the sole purpose of sex. When one gets too old, getting a fresh one and disposing of the first, as I believe was happening in this article. He/they would be securely locked up, or tied and gagged while I'm at work, shopping, etc.
​1989年9月18日 ( 月 )
午後8時15分 今日の新聞の記事にあるように、僕はセックスだけを目的に子供を誘拐して密かに飼うことを考えたことがある。僕は、この記事の中で起こっていたと思うように、子供が年を取り過ぎたら、新しい子供を手に入れ、最初の子供を処分することを考えた。僕が仕事や買い物をしている間、彼/彼女らは厳重に監禁されるか、縛られて猿轡を噛まされることになるだろう。

Friday, September 22, 1989
11:00 p.m. Looking over Vancouver/Portland area maps for possible kidnap sites, and secondary locations to take child to for the kill.
11:10 p.m. "Oaks Pioneer Park" in Portland appears worth checking out ASAP. Tri-Cities, Yakima, etc., are still possibilities.
午後11時00分 バンクーバー/ポートランド地域の地図を見て、誘拐できる可能性のある場所と、殺害のために子供を連れて行く二次的な場所を探している。
午後11時10分 ポートランドの「オークス・パイオニア・パーク」は早急に確認する価値がありそうだ。トライシティー、ヤキマ等もまだ可能性がある。

​Sunday, September 24, 1989
5:20 p.m. One possibility--kidnap 10-year-old, have my way for a day or two, kill, and perform "exploratory surgery" to study his reproduction system and practice vasectomy and amputation to later perform on living subjects. My study on this is on page 1.b. I'll need to obtain items to use for these "surgeries."
午後5時20分 一つの可能性として、10歳の子供を誘拐し、1日か2日僕のやり方で殺し、「探索手術」を行い、彼の生殖システムを研究し、精管切除と切断の練習をして、後に生きている被験者に行うことができる。これに関する僕の研究は1.bページにある。僕はこれらの「手術」に使用するアイテムを入手する必要がある。

(A hand-drawn diagram of the male reproductive system that Dodd has referred to appears on page 1.b. Details Dodd has drawn include the bladder, seminal vesicle, prostate gland, urethra,vas deferens, penis, epididymis, and testicles.)

For Dead Experiments
I will first make small cut in side of sack and cut and tie off vas deferens for normal vasectomy on one side. This done, I will attempt removal of the testicle on the same side. For further study, I'll amputate head of penis (closing the wound--leaving room for urethra tube). Then I'll attempt to study entire reproductive system by laying open entire untouched side of scrotum, and examine each part as I trace from the testicle, to the epididymis, back along the vas deferens, and cutting as needed to get back to the seminal vesicle, prostrate,and the urethra, following back out to amputated end of penis.

On a living subject I would attempt the amputation, the vasectomy, and the removal of one or both testicles. If exploratory surgery proves easy enough, I may even attempt removal of a seminal vesicle, or the prostrate, on a living subject as well. One subject, depending on physical reaction to operation, may or may not undergo various "operations."

Possible surgery combinations could be a minor one (vasectomy), followed by major (seminal vesicle or prostate, as these require going deep into the groin). Or it could be two somewhere in between (amputation of the penis head, and removal of a testicle). Also, removal of both testicles, one at a time,or together. Could also amputate entire scrotal sac as one major operation. Also try amputation of entire penis, or removal of all outer sex organs (to make him a her!).

Would like to videotape the exploratory, as well as future "operations," to use as future reference, to show "patients" what I'll be doing, or to "terrify" victims, if I wish to do so, but at this time (9-24-89/8:15 p.m.), I don't think I want to merely "terrify" them.

10:30 p.m. In surgery on live "patients," with or without "patient's" consent, they'll be tied down as Lee demonstrates for me in photo #5, in the pages to follow.
I could induce unconsciousness by keeping them up late, then giving them several sleeping pills, which would allow me to do things that may otherwise be painful for them.
午後10時30分 生きた「患者」に対する手術では、「患者」の同意の有無にかかわらず、この後のページで、写真5でリーが僕のために実演しているように、彼らは縛られることになる。

Monday, September 25, 1989
1:00 a.m. Poison would also work. (Drugs, poisons,antifreeze, alcohol--also good for anesthetic).
午前1時 毒も有効だろう。(薬物、毒物,不凍液、アルコール--麻酔薬にもなる)。

Saturday, September 30, 1989
11:15 p.m. Thoughts of getting Jeremy for a period of time,or custody of Ryan--could both be taught Lucifer's ways, and be an assistant to Lucifer, through me, until they're able to work on their own, or get too old and are used as a possible sacrifice-- but, as they'd grow with me, I may start having sex with boys/men that have hair on genitals or more likely share kids with them. 11:45 p.m. The last couple of days I've really been wanting a child. I hope something happens soon.

午後11時15分 ジェレミーを一定期間預かるか、ライアンを預かることを考えている--彼らが自分で働けるようになるか、年を取りすぎて生贄にされるまで、僕を通してルシファーのやり方を教え、ルシファーの助手となりうる--しかし、彼らが僕と共に成長するにつれ、僕は性器に毛が生えている少年/男性とセックスし始めるかもしれないし、彼らと子供を共有している可能性もある。
午後11時45分 ここ2、3日、僕は本当に子供が欲しくてたまらないんだ。早く何か起きないかな。

Friday, October 27, 1989
10:00 p.m. Have been working too much till now to get too excited about kids--also giving time for things to cool down.
10:20 p.m. The perfect time to "find" this boy would be on my way home from work Saturday (3:30-4:00 p.m.). That way I'd have him alive from 4:00 p.m. Saturday to 4:00 p.m. Sunday, at which time he'd be killed for experiments. I want to know if a dead boy can be given an erection by sucking his dick to pull in blood, and if so, will the body maintain the erection. I also want to get pictures of the dead boy hanging by various body parts. Also wanting to do my exploratory surgery.
午後10時 今まで仕事が忙しかったから、あまり子供について熱くなれず、冷静になる時間を作っている。
午後10時20分 この男の子を「見つける」のに最適な時間は、土曜日の仕事帰り(午後3時半から4時)だろう。そうすれば土曜日の午後4時から日曜日の午後4時まで彼を生かしておくことができる。その間に彼は実験用に殺されるだろう。僕は、死んだ男の子のディックをしゃぶって血を引き込むことで勃起させることができるのか、勃起を維持できるのか、知りたいんだ。 それから、死んだ少年が体のいろいろな部分でぶら下がっている写真も撮りたい。それと、僕の探索的手術もしたい。

10:35 p.m. I intend to have sex with him a time or two, or more if time allows, then kill for dead sex, photos, experiments,and the exploratory--using what I learn to later operate on live boys.
Perfect would be a 3-year-old to kill and a 6- 8-year-old to help with surgery. I'd later hang the nude 6- 8-year-old and photograph him dying. Just writing this makes me quite erect.
午後10時35分 僕は彼と1回か2回、時間が許せばもっとセックスするつもりだ。それからdead sex(屍姦)、写真、実験、探索のために殺す--僕が学んだことを後で生きた男の子の手術に使う。

史上最も残虐な殺人者と呼ばれたウェストリー・アラン・ドッドの日記 2 "death log" 死の記録 —Westley Alan Dodd: Diary 2—"僕は痴漢(性的虐待)よりも殺しの方がハイになれると感じる"

This is a continuation of the previous article (his diary).

〖Comments from the author of this article〗

This article contains many violent, brutal, and sexual descriptions.

I feel that the most important thing in this world is to know the deepest sorrow of human beings.
Please do not focus only on the "brutality" here.
There is something "truly deep," and that is "darkness.
But at the same time, it is the "sadness" in a human being who has lived on this planet with us for 28 years.




(Interestingly and with no explanation, Dodd's chapter-by-chapter account abruptly ends with only a "Chapter 6"heading.
(興味深いことに、何の説明もなく、ドッドの章ごとの説明は突然、"Chapter 6 "の見出しだけで終わっている)。 

However, attached to it was a "death log" of his actions and intended actions as they related to the Neer brothers, Billy and Cole, with entries beginning on Saturday evening, September 2, 1989, two days before the Neer brothers'murders, and continuing until Tuesday, September 12, 1989. Also,extensive plans were located in Dodd's briefcase for carrying out "Incident 2" and "Incident 3," with yet another detailed "log" of the atrocities he carried out on four-year-old victim Lee Joseph Iseli following Lee's abduction from a Portland,Oregon school playground. Interestingly, and depicting his careful planning and premeditation, the September 2 entry starts off with a hand-drawn map of David Douglas Park and the surrounding area.)
しかし、そこには、ニール兄弟、ビリー、コールに関連する彼の行動とその意図が、ニール兄弟殺害の2日前の1989年9月2日(土)夜から9月12日(火)までの「"death log" (死の記録)」として記録されていた。

Westley Allan Dodd (July 3, 1961 - January 5, 1993)
ウェストリー・アラン・ドッド(1961年7月3日 - 1993年1月5日)

Saturday, September 2, 1989 Located David Douglas Park and did this (an arrow points to the hand-drawn map of the park). Ideal area--South and West sides of park are wooded gully. Isolated areas, especially in the east end. Within one half hour saw three together (6:10-6:40 p.m.), and nothing else. Good for R & M (rape and murder) at sight, or K (kidnapping), R & M.

Sunday,September 3, 1989

10:40-11:00 a.m. Checked same area out. Intend to spend up to five hours this afternoon to obtain what I want.
1989年9月2日(土) ディヴィッド·ダグラス·パークを見つけ、これをした。
理想的なエリア--公園の南側と西側は森林で覆われた谷間。 孤立したエリア、特に東端。

午前10:40-11:00 同じエリアを調べた。


Depending on circumstances will R&M at sight, or may K from there, R at home,and again depending on circumstances, will either M at home, or take to another location and possibly R again before M. If I can get it (note how he refers to his victim as "it," an object and not a person) home I'll have more time for various types of R,rather than just one quickie before M.

NOTE: I spent evening of 9-2-89 and morning of 9-3-89
preparing photo book #P-1.
In my photo books use this key:
P-photos by other photographers, old and new, some "art."
C-photos of children I see nude, or get them to pose for me,but I have no sex contact with.
V-photos of children in a more than once relationship, who I trust to keep quiet. Some of these photos may have me in them also.
P-他の写真家による写真、新旧の写真、いくつかの "芸術"。

M-photos of children who I forced, or they cooperated,either way ending in M.In photos I just put into P-1, all were taken from a series of books from "Life Library of Photography," from two of the books in that series, "The Great Themes" and "Photographing Children." These photos take up pages 1-11, inclusive, in book P-1.

(It is interesting to note that Dodd's photo book, P-1, also contained several photos of religious art works depicting, for example, Mary, Joseph, and the Christ child, the birth of Christ,Virgin and Child, and so forth, concluding with nude closeup shots of Dodd's erect penis while he was either sitting spread-eagled in a chair or in a standing position.)

M-僕が強制的に撮った子、あるいは協力してくれた子たちの写真、いずれにしてもMで終わる。P-1に入れた写真は、すべて「Life Library of Photography」のシリーズからで、その中の「The Great Themes」と「Photographing Children」という2冊の本から撮ったものだ。これらの写真は、書籍P-1の1ページから11ページまでを占めている。


11:45 a.m. All my actions from now on will be logged immediately following each circumstance, and those logs/stories I'll refer to proper photo album and page number as they exist for those stories. I hope within four months to be using video tape as well as Polaroids for certain cases.
11:45 a.m. 
午前11時45分 これからの僕の全ての行動は、それぞれの状況に応じて直後にログとして記録され、それらのログ/ストーリーは、そのストーリーに存在する適切なフォトアルバムとページ番号を参照することになる。特定のケースでは、4ヶ月以内にはポラロイドだけでなく、ビデオテープも使用できるようになることを願っている。

11:50 a.m. Will get a cup of coffee and head out for a few hours.
午前11時50分 一杯のコーヒーを飲み、数時間出かける。

1) Two boys--approximately 9 & 10/11. Oldest big for his age- would have taken younger (smaller) if alone for R & M.
2) Two girls--7 & 12--would have R & M, younger if alone.
3)4 boys--three were 7 or 8, and one about 12. If older was not there I could have separated younger three, doing M to first two then R & M to the last (best looking of three).
They were looking for place to go to bathroom and kept saying,"Just go for it here." I watched. They finally realized there was a restroom in park.
4) One boy about 4 was wandering away from teenagers playing ball, but never got far enough away or out of their sight,else I would have gotten him further out of sight for possible R, R, & M or at best R & M.
彼らはトイレに行く場所を探していて、"ここでやっちゃえば "と言い続けていた。僕はそれを見ていた。彼らはやっと公園の中にトイレがあることに気づいたようだ。
4) 4歳くらいの男の子がボール遊びをしているティーンエイジャーから離れようとうろうろしていたが、十分に遠く離れなかったし、彼らの視界から外れることができなかった。そうでなかったなら、彼を可能な限りR、R&Mか、あるいはせいぜいR&Mのために、彼をさらに視界から遠ざけていただろう。(その可能性を追求した。)

2:15 p.m. Lunch, tea to go, will be back on hunt by 2:25 p.m.
4:00 p.m. Back home. No luck. There were four boys and two girls, but with two adult females. Three boys were good,fourth a ways away but possible. One girl possible. If only I could get one to three boys alone (one up to 10 years/two up to 8 or 9 years).
午後2時15分  昼食を済ませて紅茶をテイクアウトし、2時25分までには狩りに戻る予定だ。
午後4時 帰宅。運が悪い。男の子4人、女の子2人、でも大人の雌(females)が2人いた。3人の男の子は良かった、4人目は離れていたが可能性があった。女の子は1人可能。僕一人でうまくいけば、男の子を1〜3人(一人は10歳まで、二人は8歳か9歳まで)を捕まえられたらいいんだけど。

4:12 p.m. Better-equipped (added long shoe string and large Ace bandage to the knife I've been carrying. Knife will be held by the Ace bandage to ride better.) Ace or string also used for tying up, or to use for choking,instead of relying on kid's shirt to choke (may not have a shirt & I may not want to use knife-- especially since knife would best be cleaned on their shirt(s)). Choking may be best. Back to hunt by 4:30 p.m. (last of day).
5:30 p.m. Gave up--went to look around Fred Meyer (large department store). There was a 6-7 year old boy there with some cute little shorts, and no shirt. I had an urge to pull his shorts down right there. I went back to the park.
午後4時12分 装備を整える(今まで持っていたナイフに、長い靴紐と大きなエース包帯を追加。ナイフはエース包帯で固定し、より良く乗りこなせるようにした) エースや紐は、縛るときや、首を絞めるときにも使えるので、子供のシャツに頼らずに済む(シャツが無いかもしれないし、ナイフを使いたくないかもしれない。特にナイフは彼らのシャツできれいにするのがベストだろうから) 。窒息がベストかもしれない。午後4時30分までに狩りに戻る(この日はこれで終わり)。
午後5時30分 諦めた--フレッド·マイヤー(大型デパート)を見回す。そこには6〜7歳の男の子がいて、キュートな小さなショートパンツを履いていて、シャツは着ていなかった。僕はその場で彼のパンツを下ろしてやりたい衝動に駆られた。僕は公園に戻った。

6:00 p.m. Started walking away from car--after 50 yards three boys, all about 7 years old, passed me on bikes. I went back to car for my knife. I intended to separate them, do two M's, and than an R & M, but they rode off again. I wonder if they'd have stopped if I hadn't gone back for my knife? Will try again tomorrow. Noon to 3 or 3:30 p.m. seems best hunting, esp.
午後6時 車から離れ始めた--50ヤード(約4.6km)ほど歩いたところで、3人の男の子(みんな7歳くらい)が自転車に乗って僕を追い越していった。僕はナイフを取りに車に戻った。僕は彼らを引き離し、Mを2回、そしてR&Mするつもりだったが、彼らは再び走り去った。もし僕がナイフを取りに戻らなかったら、彼らは止まっていたのだろうか?明日、再試行する。特に正午から午後3時か3時半までが最高のハンティング(ベストな狩り)になりそうだ。

12:30- 2:00 (for a Sunday).
10:00 p.m. Dad gave me some geographics (National Geographics) and photographer mags.
I'll now search them for more photos to add to my "Child Porno Collection.
午後10時 父から地理学(National Geographics)と写真家の雑誌をいくつかもらった。

"Monday, September 4, 1989
9:35 a.m. Awoke three or four times last night. Seem to have maintained a stiff erection all night. Only a boy can make it soft again now. Now ready for my second day of the hunt.
Will start about 10:00 a.m. and take a lunch so I don't have to return home. Got to thinking last night I'm better off taking them somewhere else to M them. If I leave M'd ones there, I'll lose hunting ground for up to two or three months; but if they just disappear, it won't be as bad.
This is even better than the river in Richland (Washington).
(The "hunting ground" Dodd is referring to here is David Douglas Park in Vancouver,Washington.)

1989年9月4日 月曜
午前9時35分 昨夜は3、4回、目が覚めた。一晩中、硬い勃起を維持していたようだ。今、それを柔らかく戻すことができるのは、男の子だけだ。さあ、僕にとって2日目の狩りの準備は整った。

5:40 p.m. Got home. At park for all but two trips totalling one half hour. Only two incidents.
1) 1:15 p.m. Two boys on bikes. I passed them, watched for 2-3 minutes and passed again. They were 9-10 years old. I started walking away and they followed a ways behind. I finally decided to turn and confront and separate them (they were a little big), but they took another trail and left.
2) 4:30 p.m. Boy in red (about 7 years old) on bike passed me. I turned to run him down but his father was a little behind the boy and came into view as I saw the boy's great-looking butt on the bike seat. It was well-rounded--he would have been a great fuck.
午後5時40分 帰宅。2回の移動を除き、30分ほど公園で過ごす。事件は2つだけ。
1) 午後1時15分 自転車の男の子2人組。僕とすれ違い、2-3分見て、またすれ違った。9-10歳の少年たちだ。僕が歩き出すと、彼らは少し後ろからついてきた。僕はようやく振り返って二人を引き離そうとしたが(二人は少し大きかった)、二人は別の小道に入って行ってしまった。
2) 午後4時30分 自転車に乗った赤い服の男の子(7歳くらい)が僕の横を通り過ぎた。僕は彼を追い詰めようと向きを変えたが、彼の父親は少年の少し後ろにいて、僕が自転車のシートに乗った少年の見栄えのするお尻を見たときに視界に入ってきた。それはバランスの取れたものだった(丸みを帯びていて)、彼は最高のファック(レイプ相手)になりそうだった。

5:45 p.m. I was going to call it quits, but believe I'll go try once more before weekend is over.
6:10 p.m. Arrived park.
6:15 p.m. Began walking from end of trail.
6:18 p.m. Found two boys. No one else around. About proper age, I figured.
6:19 p.m. I approached and said, "I want you two to come with me." Older said, "Why?" I said, "Because I told you to.
You can bring your bikes if you want." Said that because younger was going to leave his behind. I didn't want someone to find it and start looking for him. I realized they were not American (Caucasian), but was committed. I had never liked the idea of sucking foreigners. They both followed me for about five minutes--to most isolated part of park. We passed two teenagers and I warned the boys not to talk to them.
午後5時45分 僕は週末が終わる前にもう一度試してみようと思ったが、もうやめようと思っていた。
午後6時10分 公園に到着。
午後6時15分 小道の端から歩き始めた。
午後6時18分 少年2人を発見。他に誰もいない。僕は適切な年齢だと思った。
午後6時19分 僕は近づいて言った 「君たち2人に一緒に来てほしいんだ。」
年上の方が言った。 「どうして?」

(Approximately) 6:25 p.m. Had learned older boy was 11 years old, named Cole, and younger was 10 years old, named Billy.
Also, older than I thought but I was committed. Leaving bikes on trail, we went a few yards into the trees and bushes. Billy kept quiet, Cole always said, "Why?" once to each command by me.
I had them stand back to back, and tied their wrists together tightly--binding the boys together by a 10-inch piece of cord.
They then both faced me and I knelt in front of them.
(おおよそ)午後6時25分頃 上の子は11歳、名前はCole、下の子は10歳、名前はBillyであることがわかった。

(Approximately) 6:30 p.m. I said one of them had to let me pull down their pants and Billy quickly said, "Him." Cole said,"Why?" I said I wanted to suck his dick. Cole asked if it would hurt--I said no so he said OK. I was hoping for Billy, since he was younger and prettier, but I didn't want him to scream nor to cry louder than the little whines he just started. Cole agreed.
午後6時半頃 僕はどちらかのパンツを下ろさせてくれと言うと、ビリーはすぐに「彼」と言った。コールは "なんで?" と言った。

Billy was wearing jeans. Cole was wearing shorts.
I pushed Cole's button-down colored shirt up and slid fingers into waist of his shorts and underwear, and pulled them to his knees. Cole almost looked Chinese. His cock was different than any I'd seen before. I lifted it and felt his balls. He had a fairly large sack, (biggest I'd ever molested),but his dick was pretty short and a little thick. The head was really pretty large, however.

I moved in and sucked to pull in blood and make him erect.
The head of his dick was just as big as the base, entire cock about one and a quarter inch long. He was definitely the oldest I'd ever sucked. I swirled it in my mouth a little. The entire oral was about 40 seconds (he erected very fast!). He had a birthmark (light brown) covering about one-third of the top of the head on his cock. I wish I had more time to study him.
I pulled up his pants and turned to Billy. I wanted to suck him longer than I did Cole, but when I said I wanted him to do it to me, he started crying again. So I told Cole he had to do something else. They both said they had to go because they were hungry, late, and dad would be mad. I said to tell him they got lost.

I had them kneel to their knees and pulled Cole's pants back down. I decided I had to cut them loose to do what I wanted, and did. I put the rope pieces in my pocket (no evidence to be found). Billy said he'd go tell dad Cole would be late. I said,"You can go in a couple minutes--I'm almost done." Billy knelt back from his knees onto his heels (Good he couldn't make a quick getaway!). With Cole's bare butt toward me, I unzipped and pulled my jeans and underwear down in front only, and attempted to get my cock into Cole's crotch from the rear. I quickly gave up--unable to get an erection (I was in too much of a hurry--must slow down and relax next time). Cole turned to face me.

I didn't notice if he pulled up his pants or not. I learned later he didn't, as you'll see. I said, "Just one more thing," as I again took knife from sheath (hidden in sock under pant leg).
They were both facing me, about a foot apart, me centered in front of them. I reached out and shoved the knife into Billy's gut. I thought he'd drop, but as I quickly turned to Cole before he could react, Billy grabbed his stomach and started running.

Cole had just started to turn and rise. So I went for his gut and caught him in the side. He may have then been dead, but kept moving. I then got him in the chest, and the third stab struck him, but I'm not sure where as I was rising to chase Billy.
I didn't want him to reach a nearby busy road.
I caught him by the right arm. We were both running--I stopped and stabbed him, I believe in the lower side, as he spun.

He said, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" as he spun around. I stabbed him again in the left shoulder I think as he went down. I didn't stay to make sure he was dead this time.
I ran to where their bikes were on the trail and started walking. I put the knife back under my pant leg. I went about 30 yards and decided to run back to make sure I hadn't left any evidence behind. I found Cole flat on his back, head tilted to the left, eyes (the one I could see) still open, arms at his side. He was covered with blood and not moving. At first I thought something was poking out of his belly, then realized his pants were still half way to his knees and I was looking at his dick and balls.
「ごめんなさい! ごめんなさい!」と、彼は回転し(振り返り)ながら。

He was definitely dead. That only took a second to take it all in, and I started looking around and found no evidence. I thought about running back to be sure Billy was dead, and decided not to risk the extra time.
I then noticed blood on my left hand. Keeping it in my pocket I calmly climbed to the main park, greeting an older man and throwing a stray baseball to a couple guys on the way back to my car.
彼は確かに死んでいた。すべてを理解するのに 1 秒しかかからなかったので、僕は周りを見回したが、何の証拠もなかった。(何の痕跡も残っていなかった。)

I circled around and on the other side of the park found a guy running down the hill. I figured he'd found Billy, since I'd left him out on the trail. I didn't want to leave fingerprints on his bloody clothes, or get his blood on me trying to get him into hidden bushes as Cole was. I had expected Billy to die right with Cole--still hidden. It turns out lucky I didn't go back to check Billy, or the guy would have seen me, too. It was about 6:45 p.m. when I got out to the main park.

My total time with the boys had been 18-20 minutes. Billy was reported found at 6:50 p.m. by phone and 9-1-1, and taken by helicopter to a Portland hospital at 7:37 p.m. I didn't know for sure he was dead until the 6:00 a.m. news on the radio the next morning (Tuesday morning). I already knew for sure Cole was dead. After the incident Monday I was pretty shook up. I thought about it all day--couldn't get picture of Cole's body, or Billy's "I'm sorry" out of my mind. By the time I got home from work on Tuesday, 9-5-89, about 4:10 p.m., I was able to masturbate to fantasy and mind pictures of Cole, both alive and dead and bloody. I climaxed in about three minutes. I dumped knife, wrapped in old used manilla envelope, in garbage dumpster at work at lunch time on Tuesday, 9-5-89.Wednesday, September 6, 1989 Now trying to figure out a location for next hunt. Must spend more time with boy (or girl?) before killing, and make sure body is hidden better.
月曜日の事件の後、僕はかなり動揺していた。一日中そのことを考えていた--コールの死体の心象(picture)や、ビリーの「"I'm sorry"」が、頭から離れなかった。
僕は火曜日(1989年9月5日)の午後4時10分頃、仕事から帰宅するまでに、生きているコールと死んでいるコール、そして血まみれのコールの空想とmind pictures(心象風景、心の映像)でマスターベイション(自慰)をすることができた。3分ほどで絶頂に達した。
1989年9月6日(水) 今、次の狩りの場所を考えている。
殺す前にもっと多くの時間をかけて男の子( または女の子?)と過ごさなければならないし、死体をもっとうまく隠さなければならない。

The newspaper articles on this incident are attached to the following pages.
While most of my future victims will die (in various ways),I also hope to have some long relationships with children as well (as with Robert and Jeremy and even Chad--though unwilling he kept quiet). I'd like to make some child porno movies. I also hope to get "before and after" photos of my "sex-murder" victims as well. When crotch fucking the ones to die, I'll clean the kid real well before killing, and deposit my sperm in something to remove it as "forensic evidence." When butt fucking, I'll use a well-greased rubber (may fuck either way before or after they die, depending on whether they're bloody or not). Some of them will also be forced to perform certain acts on me.
僕は子ども向けのポルノ映画(児童ポルノ映画、child porno movies)を何本か作りたいと思っている。
僕は、僕の「"sex-murder"(セックス殺人)」の犠牲者たちの「"before and after"(前後の)」写真も手に入れたいと思っている。
僕が死ぬべき奴(者)の股間を犯す(crotch fucking、股間ファックする)ときは、殺す前に子供をよく洗って、僕の精子を何かの中に入れて、"鑑識の証拠(法医学的証拠) "として除去するんだ。
お尻(butt fucking、尻ファック)の時は、よく塗ったゴム(rubber、コンドーム)を使う(血まみれかどうかに応じて、死ぬ前または後にやるかもしれない。)

I think I got more of a high out of killing than molesting.
I had fantasized previously of my stomach against a boy's back,my arms around him, and over his arms. He is blindfolded so as not to see the knife I'm holding to a point just below his breast bone. My cock in his crotch or maybe his butt, I squeeze my arms, pinning him and holding him so he can't move as I slowly push its blade into him, then back out, holding him or fucking him as he dies. I also dream of sucking him erect, do a long oral on him, then cutting off his erect cock. Then I butt fuck him as his cock bleeds into the ground under him. If he's still alive after that I finish him off. Of course taking pictures each stage of the way. Just read--you'll see what actually does occur. Just writing this and (reading) previous story about my first murder makes my cock stiff. I must find it sexual.

I'll note that The Oregonian is a morning paper and The Columbian an afternoon paper.
The news articles will be numbered in the order they appeared. The same number on different articles indicate they all came from same edition of paper. #1 is two different articles, being about the killing, then about the boys' lives.
Police don't even know Cole was molested--even though his pants were down! Maybe that's the way to go--leave no indication of a rape?--NAW--too much I want to do would be obvious.
僕は、The Oregonianが朝刊で、The Columbianが昼刊であることを記しておく。
警察はコールが性的虐待にあったことさえ知らない--たとえパンツが下がっていたとしても! それがやり方かもしれない--レイプの痕跡を残さないように?--NAW(NO)--僕はあまりにもやりたいことが多すぎて、明らかになって(バレて)しまう。

プロフィール 1981生 ゆざえ


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